lol!

By lux on Feb 5, 2008

Thanks a lot, I was just about to read that book and now you ruined it for me.

By golfgirl on Feb 5, 2008

OMG….that is too funny….

By Frank on Feb 6, 2008

You’ll burn in hell for that, Michelle.

(I’ll save you a seat by the fire)

By Dean Barnett on Feb 6, 2008

Hey Dean, could you save me a seat as well? I might be a while, but I will make sure to bring plenty of people with me! Man, hell is gonna be one bitchin’ party!

By Cody (Numa God) on Feb 8, 2008

Well … you have to keep reading …(SPOILER WARNING!!!!!)

He actually rises from the dead …ooops!!! Sorry, I warned you about the spoiler. See p. 682-683

By Tony House on Feb 8, 2008

In most Bibles I come across, that actually doesn’t happen until well over page 1,000!

As for Hell being “one bitchin’ party,” it’s actually fairly hard to come up with a more misunderstood concept of Hell than that. Hell, properly understood, is ineffably terrifying; by comparison, any disaster in the here and now would be a party.

By Rick Beckman on Feb 9, 2008

thanks for ruining a good time. next time i need a lesson on theology i’ll be sure to look you up at the nearest ultra conservative republican convention. by the way, say hello to Mitt Romney for me…

and as for your inability to accept this as a legitimately comedic joke, it’s actually fairly hard to come up with a person who has been more uptight about life in general. why don’t we all just live our lives in the pessimistic mindset that there is nothing to live for because after life we have the most “ineffably terrible” thing to look forward to? thanks for making my day a little bit better if only for the mere fact that i know when all else is said and done… at least i’m not you.

By farce on Feb 10, 2008

hahaha.

farce and rick.
calm down!

By Tracey on Feb 10, 2008

Tracey: If my post wasn’t calm, I’d hate to see what you think is “outrage.” and
Merely jumping into the conversation. I wouldn’t have if I didn’t like the joke. I hope you read the rest of this (if you read the rest of it) in the fun-loving way that it was written.

farce: From one comment of mine, you presume that it’d be difficult to find people more uptight about life than myself? Amazing. I’m also struck by your linking Romney with “ultra conservative Republicanism”… Most of us conservative Republicans are fully on board the Ron Paul bandwagon, and still many of those are Christians who do not recognize Mormonism as biblical.

Sorry I ruined a good time, but I’m glad I got to brighten your day, though I’d *hope* you’d be glad you’re not me. Be glad to be yourself! (I’d throw in the joke “be unique, just like everyone else,” but I bet everyone’s already heard that one…)

By Rick Beckman on Feb 10, 2008

I think hell’s gonna be fun! Not for me personally, but for gays with pain fetishes hell’s gonna be awesome! Oh yeah, and you guys (you know who I’m talking about) Should get medical attention for those sticks shoved up your asses, that can’t be healthy.

By Jesus on Feb 10, 2008

Hey, I’m everywhere, even in internet jokes. Or am I????? Sounds like you guys should all fight about it! Because that’s what I would want you to do. Until I send back my kid and kill all of you motherfuckers. How’s that for a spoiler, bitches?

By god on Feb 10, 2008

Haha, completely agree with Rick there. Yes, PLEASE assume more. It’s amazing how close-minded some liberals are. Not only do you make horrible assumptions, but also many of your facts are simply wrong. As eloquently as Rick replied…I feel that it’s sufficient to deal with your bullshit.

Thus, I feel fine to declare: go fuck yourself, Farce.

By Guy on Feb 12, 2008

thanks for ruining it all for me!! i was on pg. 680!

i think i might have a word with god to shut down stumble upon! Make another flood of frogs to the owner!

By jesus with a gun! on Feb 13, 2008

I can’t wait for the god damned sequel.

By Mark on Feb 14, 2008

Oh damn.
I just got to pg.680!
All the foreshadowing sorta gave it away though…

By Anon on Feb 14, 2008

I think jesus is right. I’m Mormon, so I guess I’ll be in hell with all of you!!
(And tell Satan to get out of my seat!)

By OhmyGod!! on Feb 14, 2008

RE: Rick Beckman

I believe he’s trying to say that Hell is not a party. Instead, he implies: 9/11, now that was a party.

By Ouroborus on Feb 15, 2008

The people who make fun of the bible are criminals and should be imprisoned and flogged. Many children have probably died this way. What a sad shame - Jesus will be sending them directly to hell.

By Hizzoner on Feb 17, 2008

The only people who are going to hell are the ones that condone the imprisonment and flogging of people who do not wish to follow Jesus. You sir are no better than the terrorists who kill in Gods name. How dare you blaspheme and use jesus’s name in vain, who are you to judge who will go to heaven or not? If heaven is going to be a place with a bunch of idiots like you, then count me out.

By blasted on Feb 18, 2008

blasted - read Revelations, jackass. Or better yet, Revelation X. Or Generation X. Or The Greatest Generation. Or the The Greatest Story Ever Told. Or The Greatest Love of All - wait a minute, that’s a song. Read it anyway, because the greatest love of all is waiting for you, jerk, in my prior message of truth and understanding. Why don’t you get it? Because you are stupid as all hell, that’s why. Ignorance may be bliss, but it’s no excuse for breaking the law. I don’t know if God has competency hearings, but maybe he should make an exception for you. You are an exceptional case. You are exceptionally irritating. I would consider you to be a fucking asshole. In fact, you are. You fail. ed. Get with the program, bastard, because you are just a waste of space, flesh without a zone, a dogless bone, a wisp in the wind, lies without a face, a drink of cold water on a hot day in the middle of December. You sicken me. Like a plague. Like I’m going right round, spinning right round. Round to your stupid round ass. How dare I blaspheme, well, you should wonder. Wonder in vain, bread. Wonder, indeed.

By Hizzoner on Feb 20, 2008